Thursday, October 18, 2007

Nurturing, love and caring


Ever had one of “those days”: A day where you seem to have left your brain somewhere else ... A day when the slightest upset can have much bigger consequences? These are called frazzles. Little stressors in our lives may pile up to create bigger stressors because our brain’s ability to think and to act has been hampered by the little things. Taking a little time to slow down, evaluate your situation and assess what changes need to be made can help “de-frazzle” those days.

There is a story told of a professor performing a demonstration in front of his class. First he takes larger rocks and places them in a jar. He asks the class, “Is this jar full?” The eager students answer in the affirmative. Next he adds medium sized stones to fill in spaces left by the larger rocks and again he asks, “Is the jar full?” Again the students confirm that it is. The wise professor then adds smaller stones filling more spaces. When asked, “Is this jar full?” again the students respond that it is. Finally the professor fills the remaining spaces with sand. “What lesson can you learn from this demonstration?” asks the professor. The students sit in silence until the professor explains, “The truth in this illustration is, first make room for the big things, for family, friends, spiritual life, what ever is important to you and then fit the other things around them. Because if you do not fit the big things in first, you will never get them in at all.”

In Daniel Goleman’s final chapter Social Consequence we are reminded of the need for security or a safe environment in which mistakes can be made and corrected. We need the freedom to feel safe as we are corrected. These corrections can be found in positive personal connections.

In our Catholic experience we are called into the sacrament of reconciliation with our God. This is our safe environment in which we can explain to God and our confessor the nature of our sins and to be forgiven. We leave the confessional absolved of our sins and free to live as a reflection of God’s love in this world. It is beneficial to go to the same confessor because our continued confessions enable him to see more clearly the true inner state of our soul and to understand better the occasions of our sin. A consistent confessor can be essential to “de-frazzle” our spiritual lives.

The scientific world has made many amazing discoveries about the inner workings of the human mind and the effect of nurturing, love, and caring on health and society. These issues have each been addressed in the teachings of Jesus Christ. The centuries-old wisdom of the Church is now up-held by modern science. “Love one another”, reach out to someone else, connect with them and the world will benefit. As science and Christianity have proven, our social brains were made for this purpose.

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